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ms_beccaTHIS IS MORNING ONE OF THREE!
Title: Love, the kind that you just want to give away
Author: Becca
Word Count: 6406
Rating: R, probably closer to PG for most of it.
Disclaimer: Do not own them. Only borrowing.
Summary: A series of Finn/Rachel firsts.
AN: For my darlingest![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
andbless_mybaby, happy birthday, sweetie. Don’t worry, it’s not so bad being old! I’ll always be older!
AN2: Thanks to Carrie Underwood for being amazing,unequivocally for giving me the jumping off point originally, and ohladybegood for the beta. Anyone else who read this and told me it wasn’t crap (earlier) thank you very much, too. You know who you are!
AN3: The cheesebucket reference is a referal tohpchickadee's awesome obsession with Cory! He's mine! BACK OFF! :)
It takes Finn a while to ask Rachel out (he’s just had his heart majorly crushed by his girlfriend and his best friend at once). His confidence level is low. Yeah, sure he doesn’t have the greatest confidence to begin with – he’s always been concerned with what others think of him, his friends, the football team, hell, even Glee Club – but he’s working on that. Besides, he’s a little bit scared of her. More than a little, a lot scared of tiny, little Rachel Berry and her intense ways.
It’s not that he doesn’t like her. He really, really likes her (maybe too much). It’s just...
------
His first relationship starts like this. He asks the head cheerleader out, partly because it’s expected, partly because he wants to get into her pants (he’s a teenage boy), and partly because she’s really pretty and kind of nice to him. They date for a while. She hits him with the whole “celibacy” thing, which is cool ‘cause you know he’s kind of a girl about this stuff. And he knows that he’s going to have to put effort into getting Quinn to take off her clothes. But he kind of expects that with any girl.
Anyway, so they date.
Eventually, after many months of trying, he makes it all the way to second (which he thought was pretty cool, even if it was over the shirt). Her boobs were like soft and kind of squishy, but in a really cool way, under the cotton blend of her Cheerios uniform.
Then there’s the whole hot tub thing, and yeah, he comes clean about his problem, because there was really no way to hide it from her. So, yeah.
Then there’s Rachel and the kissing. And damn. That’s kind of like cheating, isn’t it? He’d never really thought of it that way before, but it totally is. He’s a cheater. Wow. That kind of sucks.
Still, the day Quinn comes to school telling him that he’s going to be a father, everything stops.
And that’s really... He can’t even think about it now. Can’t think about what he’s lost.
But she fucking lied.
And he’s not going to be a father.
And even before they’d made out and he’d had his little episode in the hot tub she’d fucked his best friend. He doesn’t care why, or how, or really even when. She’d done more than just kiss a person three times. She’d let him...
She lied. And he lied.
------
To be perfectly honest, Finn does not want to go through that again. Not that Rachel would do that to him, she wouldn’t, he’s absolutely certain. But he’s just afraid of taking the chance and then having her find out that Puck is a better lay or something, not that he’s thinking about Rachel having sex with him, or anyone. Hell they’re not even dating.
Fuck.
He doesn’t want to lose another one.
Besides, it’s not like Rachel has asked him out either. She’s a take charge kind of girl. Look at the evidence:
1. Rachel staring at him during the early Glee rehearsals.
2. Pairing herself up with him during the “Push It” dance.
3. Joining “celibacy club” and her speech
4. The kisses.
5. Her being all angry after the kisses
6. Bowling
7. The next kiss.
8. The slap, which really hurt actually.
But then everything kind of stopped.
She dated Puck for a while. And yeah, she was still around and stuff, but she never really looked at him the same way.
She stopped helping him after school with his singing. She stopped following him in the hallways.
And somehow they became friends.
------
Maybe he’s not ready to risk that either.
Maybe he knows (really there’s no maybe about it) that she needs a friend and he wants to be that for her.
So he didn’t ask Rachel out any time during that period for all of those reasons. That, and she’s like super intense. Too intense sometimes, but whatever. She’s still super cool.
Besides it’s only been three months since Sectionals and Regionals are coming up and he’s nervous about all that because he really does want a scholarship to go to a good college and he’s got a better chance of that with singing then he does with football considering how fucking awful their team is.
And he’s got basketball, and friends, and homework (which he’s recently taken up again), and school, and his X-Box, and he doesn’t really need a girlfriend to add to all that pressure. Because it’s not like he’s been having these crazy sex-dreams about Rachel and those knee socks, or her elliptical machine, or her shower. And he sure hasn’t been staring at her in class or Glee or whatever. He totally hasn’t.
------
“Dude, stop being a fucking pussy and ask her out already.” Puck slams his gym locker shut. They haven’t spoken since Sectionals. They haven’t needed to. Puck knows that he’s not forgiven. He broke the fucking guy CODE! The CODE! Not even like the bros before hos RULE. It’s guy CODE (like pirates have) that you do not fuck your best friend’s girl. Not while they’re together, not while they’re apart. NOT EVER!
But it’s just the two of them in the locker room so Puck must be trying to talk to him.
“I’m sick and tired of watching you and Berry dance around each other like you’re in a fucking homo ballet. Man-the-fuck-up!”
Maybe he doesn’t want to listen to Puck. Maybe they’re team mates, but they’re sure as shit not friends anymore. Maybe he wants Puck’s advice to be crap.
(He knows it’s not.)
Puck leaves without another word.
Aw. Shit.
------
Her body is smokin’. And she never makes him feel stupid. She listens to him and helps him and... He sure doesn’t want anyone else to have access to those Angelina-style lips.
So he drives to her house. Knocks on the door which she opens wearing some kind of yoga gear or something, stretchy pants and a baggy t-shirt, not something that she’d wear to school. She’s got her hair in a messy ponytail with a headband holding back the loose pieces.
“Finn, what are you doing here?” She says.
He pauses. No time to chicken out now. Just do it. Man-the-fuck-up.
“Umm... I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go bowling or something?”
“Uh, sure. Is something wrong? I remember you saying that you always went bowling when you were stressed or upset or something.”
“No. No. Nothing’s wrong. Uh, I was actually just wondering if, you know, it could be a real... date.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
She doesn’t jump up and down. She doesn’t throw her arms around him. She doesn’t make the crazy stalker-eyes at him. She doesn’t cry hysterically or throw things at him.
She just says, “Sure.”
Awesome.
“I’ll come and get you at seven, okay?” He feels excited and nervous. And hell, he’s already kissed her, so it’s not like he needs to worry about that as an obstacle.
“I’ll be ready then. Can I use the pink ball, again?”
He nods and smiles at her before saying that he’ll see her in a few hours and turning back to his car.
He already knows that she’s a little bit crazy. But he likes her. Maybe too much, but it’s just a start. And that’s all he can ask for.
------
So their first date begins exactly as he plans it. He picks her up in his mom’s sedan at exactly seven. Her dads aren’t home, which he kind of loves because he’s so not ready for that yet, even if he gives good parent.
They bowl and eat pizza and drink soda and it’s just like before. But he doesn’t have Quinn or the baby or Glee or the scholarship hanging over his head. And when they talk, they’re talking about things that matter to them because they can, not because he needs to.
She doesn’t score a strike but she does knock down all the pins a few times. She high-fives him instead of jumping into his arms and he almost misses that. Like now that they’re on a “real date” there’s this extra pressure or something so she can’t react like she normally would and what’s up with that anyway? People should be themselves all the time. Why wouldn’t they be?
At the end of the night he walks her to her door and waits for the sign. The neon flashing sign that Rachel is bound to hold over her head saying “Kiss Me.” It never shows up. She says a polite ‘thank you for a lovely evening,’ hugs him close and goes inside.
He stands on her front step wondering what the hell just happened.
------
He sees her at school the next day. She smiles at him from her locker and he can’t help but pull her into the empty choir room.
“Finn?” She looks at him like he’s crazy or something (and maybe he is. Who the hell isn’t sometimes?). “I have to get ready for class.”
She just looks so cute in her little dress and sweater set. No knee socks today, just some brightly coloured leg things. But this isn’t about her clothes at all. He’s been thinking about kissing her all night (he’s a guy), okay, maybe it’s more like eight months (since the last time they kissed and he felt really bad about it after because it was like leading her on and he’s a good guy and good guys don’t do that and Rachel deserves more than that).
“Okay,” he starts. “It’s just... I’ve been thinking about something for a while, like, all night... and maybe a couple months before that... but... Can I just...” He puts a hand on either side of her face and hears her breath (and maybe his, too) hitch. She turns her face up and he leans down.
As completely cheesebucket as it is, when his lips close over hers he sees those shiny gold stars she always sticks behind her name (once she called it a mesa-four or something, he can’t really remember anymore), but it’s blinding and addictive.
So he does it again, worrying her top lip with his teeth, scraping and soothing and scraping some more. And – holy fuck – her tongue slips along his bottom lip and Finn Jr. is about to make an extremely embarrassing appearance so he pulls away, breathing hard, concentrating on dead kittens (yuck), the image of his mom naked (so wrong), and finally the damn mailman (who now works a completely different route). And yep, he’s good.
“Wow,” she says, her eyes glazed, kind of like the doughnut he wanted for breakfast.
“Yeah. We’re going to have to be careful with how much of that we do at school.” He smiles down at her and damned if Finn Jr. doesn’t pop back up a little bit just looking at her with her lips puffy from his and her eyes with that watery look to them. Her fingers grip his and she leads him back out into the hallway.
“Come on,” she says. “I’ll walk you to class.”
------
Title: Love, the kind that you just want to give away
Author: Becca
Word Count: 6406
Rating: R, probably closer to PG for most of it.
Disclaimer: Do not own them. Only borrowing.
Summary: A series of Finn/Rachel firsts.
AN: For my darlingest
andbless_mybaby, happy birthday, sweetie. Don’t worry, it’s not so bad being old! I’ll always be older! AN2: Thanks to Carrie Underwood for being amazing,
unequivocally for giving me the jumping off point originally, and ohladybegood for the beta. Anyone else who read this and told me it wasn’t crap (earlier) thank you very much, too. You know who you are!AN3: The cheesebucket reference is a referal to
hpchickadee's awesome obsession with Cory! He's mine! BACK OFF! :)It takes Finn a while to ask Rachel out (he’s just had his heart majorly crushed by his girlfriend and his best friend at once). His confidence level is low. Yeah, sure he doesn’t have the greatest confidence to begin with – he’s always been concerned with what others think of him, his friends, the football team, hell, even Glee Club – but he’s working on that. Besides, he’s a little bit scared of her. More than a little, a lot scared of tiny, little Rachel Berry and her intense ways.
It’s not that he doesn’t like her. He really, really likes her (maybe too much). It’s just...
------
His first relationship starts like this. He asks the head cheerleader out, partly because it’s expected, partly because he wants to get into her pants (he’s a teenage boy), and partly because she’s really pretty and kind of nice to him. They date for a while. She hits him with the whole “celibacy” thing, which is cool ‘cause you know he’s kind of a girl about this stuff. And he knows that he’s going to have to put effort into getting Quinn to take off her clothes. But he kind of expects that with any girl.
Anyway, so they date.
Eventually, after many months of trying, he makes it all the way to second (which he thought was pretty cool, even if it was over the shirt). Her boobs were like soft and kind of squishy, but in a really cool way, under the cotton blend of her Cheerios uniform.
Then there’s the whole hot tub thing, and yeah, he comes clean about his problem, because there was really no way to hide it from her. So, yeah.
Then there’s Rachel and the kissing. And damn. That’s kind of like cheating, isn’t it? He’d never really thought of it that way before, but it totally is. He’s a cheater. Wow. That kind of sucks.
Still, the day Quinn comes to school telling him that he’s going to be a father, everything stops.
And that’s really... He can’t even think about it now. Can’t think about what he’s lost.
But she fucking lied.
And he’s not going to be a father.
And even before they’d made out and he’d had his little episode in the hot tub she’d fucked his best friend. He doesn’t care why, or how, or really even when. She’d done more than just kiss a person three times. She’d let him...
She lied. And he lied.
------
To be perfectly honest, Finn does not want to go through that again. Not that Rachel would do that to him, she wouldn’t, he’s absolutely certain. But he’s just afraid of taking the chance and then having her find out that Puck is a better lay or something, not that he’s thinking about Rachel having sex with him, or anyone. Hell they’re not even dating.
Fuck.
He doesn’t want to lose another one.
Besides, it’s not like Rachel has asked him out either. She’s a take charge kind of girl. Look at the evidence:
1. Rachel staring at him during the early Glee rehearsals.
2. Pairing herself up with him during the “Push It” dance.
3. Joining “celibacy club” and her speech
4. The kisses.
5. Her being all angry after the kisses
6. Bowling
7. The next kiss.
8. The slap, which really hurt actually.
But then everything kind of stopped.
She dated Puck for a while. And yeah, she was still around and stuff, but she never really looked at him the same way.
She stopped helping him after school with his singing. She stopped following him in the hallways.
And somehow they became friends.
------
Maybe he’s not ready to risk that either.
Maybe he knows (really there’s no maybe about it) that she needs a friend and he wants to be that for her.
So he didn’t ask Rachel out any time during that period for all of those reasons. That, and she’s like super intense. Too intense sometimes, but whatever. She’s still super cool.
Besides it’s only been three months since Sectionals and Regionals are coming up and he’s nervous about all that because he really does want a scholarship to go to a good college and he’s got a better chance of that with singing then he does with football considering how fucking awful their team is.
And he’s got basketball, and friends, and homework (which he’s recently taken up again), and school, and his X-Box, and he doesn’t really need a girlfriend to add to all that pressure. Because it’s not like he’s been having these crazy sex-dreams about Rachel and those knee socks, or her elliptical machine, or her shower. And he sure hasn’t been staring at her in class or Glee or whatever. He totally hasn’t.
------
“Dude, stop being a fucking pussy and ask her out already.” Puck slams his gym locker shut. They haven’t spoken since Sectionals. They haven’t needed to. Puck knows that he’s not forgiven. He broke the fucking guy CODE! The CODE! Not even like the bros before hos RULE. It’s guy CODE (like pirates have) that you do not fuck your best friend’s girl. Not while they’re together, not while they’re apart. NOT EVER!
But it’s just the two of them in the locker room so Puck must be trying to talk to him.
“I’m sick and tired of watching you and Berry dance around each other like you’re in a fucking homo ballet. Man-the-fuck-up!”
Maybe he doesn’t want to listen to Puck. Maybe they’re team mates, but they’re sure as shit not friends anymore. Maybe he wants Puck’s advice to be crap.
(He knows it’s not.)
Puck leaves without another word.
Aw. Shit.
------
Her body is smokin’. And she never makes him feel stupid. She listens to him and helps him and... He sure doesn’t want anyone else to have access to those Angelina-style lips.
So he drives to her house. Knocks on the door which she opens wearing some kind of yoga gear or something, stretchy pants and a baggy t-shirt, not something that she’d wear to school. She’s got her hair in a messy ponytail with a headband holding back the loose pieces.
“Finn, what are you doing here?” She says.
He pauses. No time to chicken out now. Just do it. Man-the-fuck-up.
“Umm... I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go bowling or something?”
“Uh, sure. Is something wrong? I remember you saying that you always went bowling when you were stressed or upset or something.”
“No. No. Nothing’s wrong. Uh, I was actually just wondering if, you know, it could be a real... date.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah.”
She doesn’t jump up and down. She doesn’t throw her arms around him. She doesn’t make the crazy stalker-eyes at him. She doesn’t cry hysterically or throw things at him.
She just says, “Sure.”
Awesome.
“I’ll come and get you at seven, okay?” He feels excited and nervous. And hell, he’s already kissed her, so it’s not like he needs to worry about that as an obstacle.
“I’ll be ready then. Can I use the pink ball, again?”
He nods and smiles at her before saying that he’ll see her in a few hours and turning back to his car.
He already knows that she’s a little bit crazy. But he likes her. Maybe too much, but it’s just a start. And that’s all he can ask for.
------
So their first date begins exactly as he plans it. He picks her up in his mom’s sedan at exactly seven. Her dads aren’t home, which he kind of loves because he’s so not ready for that yet, even if he gives good parent.
They bowl and eat pizza and drink soda and it’s just like before. But he doesn’t have Quinn or the baby or Glee or the scholarship hanging over his head. And when they talk, they’re talking about things that matter to them because they can, not because he needs to.
She doesn’t score a strike but she does knock down all the pins a few times. She high-fives him instead of jumping into his arms and he almost misses that. Like now that they’re on a “real date” there’s this extra pressure or something so she can’t react like she normally would and what’s up with that anyway? People should be themselves all the time. Why wouldn’t they be?
At the end of the night he walks her to her door and waits for the sign. The neon flashing sign that Rachel is bound to hold over her head saying “Kiss Me.” It never shows up. She says a polite ‘thank you for a lovely evening,’ hugs him close and goes inside.
He stands on her front step wondering what the hell just happened.
------
He sees her at school the next day. She smiles at him from her locker and he can’t help but pull her into the empty choir room.
“Finn?” She looks at him like he’s crazy or something (and maybe he is. Who the hell isn’t sometimes?). “I have to get ready for class.”
She just looks so cute in her little dress and sweater set. No knee socks today, just some brightly coloured leg things. But this isn’t about her clothes at all. He’s been thinking about kissing her all night (he’s a guy), okay, maybe it’s more like eight months (since the last time they kissed and he felt really bad about it after because it was like leading her on and he’s a good guy and good guys don’t do that and Rachel deserves more than that).
“Okay,” he starts. “It’s just... I’ve been thinking about something for a while, like, all night... and maybe a couple months before that... but... Can I just...” He puts a hand on either side of her face and hears her breath (and maybe his, too) hitch. She turns her face up and he leans down.
As completely cheesebucket as it is, when his lips close over hers he sees those shiny gold stars she always sticks behind her name (once she called it a mesa-four or something, he can’t really remember anymore), but it’s blinding and addictive.
So he does it again, worrying her top lip with his teeth, scraping and soothing and scraping some more. And – holy fuck – her tongue slips along his bottom lip and Finn Jr. is about to make an extremely embarrassing appearance so he pulls away, breathing hard, concentrating on dead kittens (yuck), the image of his mom naked (so wrong), and finally the damn mailman (who now works a completely different route). And yep, he’s good.
“Wow,” she says, her eyes glazed, kind of like the doughnut he wanted for breakfast.
“Yeah. We’re going to have to be careful with how much of that we do at school.” He smiles down at her and damned if Finn Jr. doesn’t pop back up a little bit just looking at her with her lips puffy from his and her eyes with that watery look to them. Her fingers grip his and she leads him back out into the hallway.
“Come on,” she says. “I’ll walk you to class.”
------
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 04:18 pm (UTC)Awesome babyyy. But you already know how much I love this :D
no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 03:14 am (UTC)I can't wait until everyone else gets to see the rest
no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 05:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-29 05:48 pm (UTC)Oh, and my use of "cheesebucket" comes from the fact that I love the word, not an obsession with Cory! LOL.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 04:48 am (UTC)Oh, love - this is so deliciously precious and Finn-tastic. I love is POV, just the way that he thinks and imagines stuff and processes things. You just have him down! He's so dipsy and sweet and scatterbrained, yet with his weird emotional intelligence that he can't even fully tap into. AND THE WAY YOU WRITE HIM IS SO PERFECT, AHHHHHHH.
I love how he's such a horny teenager, but so out of touch with his own feelings about sex at the same time, you know? The immaturity is very realistic, imho.
She doesn’t jump up and down. She doesn’t throw her arms around him. She doesn’t make the crazy stalker-eyes at him. She doesn’t cry hysterically or throw things at him.
I liked this so very much. Because it's true - you'd think, by this point, there would be fireworks or something.
And of course, random Puck is never a bad thing. The CODE! And manning-the-fuck-up!
::hugs Becca, and the fic::
I love everythingeverythingeverything about it so far, babe. You are the sweetest and the BEST and the most awesome, and I can't wait for MORE!
no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 05:09 am (UTC)THE CODE!
So technically it's tomorrow where you are... If you're still up (as in respond to this) I suppose I can post the next part... If not, it will be up when I get up. :)
no subject
Date: 2010-01-30 01:27 pm (UTC)Have said this before, but I love the way you write Finn. Not many people can write him in a way that makes me not hate him, but you do. I think I'm more accepting of the FR pairing when seen from Finn's POV. Don't ask me why, I have NFI how my mind works. I especially loved how we had Finn's POV on a whole bunch of stuff from the season, from his relationship with Quinn to Glee club.
Looking forward to seeing the next part... and hoping it's the hot one next up.